July 12th I wake up at 7am and felt completely fine. Stomach was a little messed up mainly cause I have not ate a damn thing in like 72hrs but otherwise I was great.  Got on the road early in the am cause like i mentioned in the last post I have a 10hr drive to Nice.  So on the road towards france I start heading.  Now like I mentioned in spain I had issues with my chain well I adjusted it that morning but when I got on the road something sounded really wrong and I figured it had to be the chain again.  So I found a

Bernard got his new Chain

motorcycle shop on about a hour an half north of where i was in a city called san sebastin. So I went straight there I arrived at like 845 so I sat on the bench and waited for the shop to open at 930.  Just twirling my thumbs and hoping it was just the chain.  Finally the shop open the guy did not speak english so he said wait like 15 more mins.  So its like 86 degrees and my body is just draining all the booze out of my pores.  The guy comes and he said yeah it is your chain definitely but we don’t have one but let me call around.  He calls bmw which didn’t even know there was one in town and they did not even have one why they don’t have a motorcycle chain for there motorcycles is beyond me.  If i asked for a new engine i could understand but a fucking chain.  So he said give me like one an half hour ill call around and find something for you.  So there was a coffee shop on the corner now i despise the smell of coffee so fucking much to me its just cigarettes in a liquid form it truly grosses me out.  So i sit inside this damn coffee shop after throwing up for half a day yesterday drinking sparkling lemonade.  They bring out some bread cause europeans eat bread for breakfast and i take a bite just to rip top of my mouth of the hard as fuck bread.  Finally the misery is about over I am like its been almost 2hrs he knows where I am at so i left and walked over there and sure enough he found me a chain and was finishing up putting it on.  I paid and by the time I paid he was lowering bernard back on the ground with his new bling bling.  I thank them over and over again for saving me and I am on the road by noon.  Again Germany likes to be proud they have the autobahn and “we can go as fast as we want” but you can’t those fuckers have more construction sites then new york city has rats.  I been to 4 other countries so far on this trip and i shit you not i saw one construction site. So anyways the speed limit is 130kmph thats about 85mphs which for usa citizen thats going good but my gps tells me my avg on how fast i drive on highways and how fast i drive in city roads and i been avg 91.3mph on the highway. So needless to say I finally made it to Nice france before

Arrived in Nice

it got dark and got to see the dark blue sky and all the lights lit up.. It was a nice little ocean cruise to arrive on. July 13th my point of going to this area was to check out this little one mile radius country called monaco famous for the F1 race and has the original monte carlo casino there.  Seem like a cool place so i was kinda excited.  When I woke up i knew about this medieval town called EZE that sat atop of this big ass mtn so was going to stop in there first and head to monaco.  WOW and yeah so glad i did eze was truly

city of EZE

amazing.  The views of the country side and the ocean were just unreal.  I have no idea how high it is off of sea level but I am sure its a few thousands.  The town up there is just packed with all these tiny little art galleries restaurants jewelry all that stuff but without all the harassment you tend to find in some places.  On the very top they had some some sort of cactus garden that was pretty cool to see and even a little waterfall which me I’m like thats being pumped up there because there is no water up here.  Anyways I was

from the top of the cactus garden looking down

glad I stop cause the views were amazing and it was just something I never actually seen before.  So I get on bernard and we make our way to monaco.  Now I never google much about places especially places that are just kinda on the way.  Im like well shit yeah ill stop there i have to drive right by it.  Well this place fucking sucks… the hillside literally looks the ghettos in brazil and these fuckers do pay millions.  Its actually really sad and disgusting to be honest like the country never thought to have any kinda of layout it was just like feed us your money your rich cunts and we will build on top of one another.  and honestly that what it looks like.  I did go to the casino and I will admit that was pretty cool but again just stuck up fucking twats I rode my motorcycle in front

the MONTE CARLO

and the police said no motorcycles just cars.  Then i go in and mind you its 98 degrees so i go in a cut off sleeves and they say sorry no tank tops.  So then I head up to the palace only reason I knew there was a palace cause I do what I normally do in cities is take the hop on hop off brochure and go to my own spots for free.  Well yeah that fucking sucked you could not take photos yet there is photos wide spread all over the internet. its truly no palace at all the rooms are about the size of your avg coffee shop. So fuck that place I did see signs for a dali museum so I’m like sweet yeah checking that out for sure.  Now I been to two Dali museums

dali museum

one in Netherlands and one in Prague both were not huge but were packed with art.  This was insanely huge they even gave you a blanket incase your little body got to cold walking through.  Well yeah this museum kinda sucked.  It was cool they had a lot of his beginning pieces that i never saw before but it was like 10 pieces in a room and then a room of just his history where you had to read shit.  No one wants to read give us a damn headset so we can listen to shit while we stare at his artwork.  Anyways I thought it was kinda wack as well.  On my way out there was a japanese garden walked through that it was whatever there was not even a zen garden in it. so thumbs down to that to. if your into thinking your fucking cool and act like your rich yeah take your douche bag ass there but its literally literally the white trash version of dubai.  So i grab bernard and we get the fuck out of there to get back to france.  I do not even like france and i was happy to be out of that place.  Now that night in nice it was some holiday.  So around ten there was fireworks watch them and hit the sack because i was to leave in the am. July 14 back on bernard heading to another

fireworks always will make me smile

small country called san marino. ( so if your asking why am i hitting up all these small countries well cause most cunts only go to major cities take there stupid photos with the eiffel tower and say they travel but skip the rest of france or whatever country they go through now i know I’m not stopping in every city but driving through a country you see a lot more then just seeing the big cities and i been to all these big european countries there main cities multiple times not just once and not just one place either)  So now the roads along italy coast they may be some of the sketch roads I driven in europe not cause they suck the roads were nice it was  because its all tunnels and as soon as u leave the tunnel its a valley between two mtns straight to the ocean so the wind just rips through and just shoves your all around and the road is all turns on top of it and bernard is 700pds not exactly evenly weighted with the bags and were cruising at 90 mph.. def a fun crazy time but fuck was i over it.  So i finally get to san marino and realize bernards tires are looking a little rough i knew i had to replace the front cause its normally 2 rears for one front. but it looks like that has to be now so i might as well replace the back cause it could def use some new tread as well and were about to go to africa.  So after arriving in San marino I spent the rest of the day calling around to find a rear tire cause i did already have a spare front one thats been on the back of bernard if you have not seen it in the photos. July 16th the first day it has rained since i left germany. It was just a mist really near my hotel it was wet but its just a mist so I was like fuck it the sky is clear so if i go to the top of this mountain atleast the views will still be good.  So as i head up the mtn who would of thought it would actually start to rain harder now I’m riding in shorts and a t shirt so by the time i get to the top where the cable car is I’m a bit wet to say the least.  Luckily there is a cafe right inside so i go in there and sit down to try and dry up a bit.  There was a souvenir store next door so i grab a poncho there and say fuck it i am heading up the mountain via cable car.  It is a short little 10 min ride once you arrive you pile out in this castle.  So I did some walking up to tower one which just

view out of tower one looking at tower two

really showed you views of the town below.  So after some moments taking it all in and grabbing some photos I head on over to tower two which they say is higher up then tower one.  Now tower two is a museum so it was def worth seeing.  Mainly guns and that war kinda stuff. After tower two make my way to three.  Three is not even accessible so not sure why they have it labeled.  After tower three i make my way into the town to check out some of the

museum in tower 2

museums.  I go to oddity museum which is just a bunch of crazy shit.  There is things like the worlds fattest man and the longest hair guy who slept on a wire odd instruments to keep kids from peeing the bed.  After that I make my way to a museum which i thought was a torture museum but its more less a wax museum with some torture involved wax scenarios.  It was pretty blah so i probably mob through that place in like 15mins.  Mainly cause i hate history so half the fucking people i never even heard of ok i lied like 90%.  After that i strolled through the town went to another church and look at all the shops that lined the streets. O i also had a slice of pizza cause it was only one euro and i understand its not italy but yet again it sucked. it was like

the church and center of San Marino

the shit we use to eat in high school.  So did my time there it was like 4 so i took the cable car back down and of course the rain kicked up again.  So i went back to the cafe and had myself a beer.  Finally got back to my hotel put some dry clothes on but thought shit I’m hungry.  So tried to find indian thai anything but italian with no luck but i did find a pub.  Perfect pub it is so went there and had myself a frosted flake chicken burger and it was damn delicious.  After got myself a little cheesecake desert and got back to my hotel.  July 17th I head to Pisa early in the am cause I thought i was to get tires put on.  Get to the damn BMW dealership where i made appt with and said yeah i just need that rear tire and like a typical BMW cunt he’s like o its dangerous putting two different types of tires on a bike we will not do it.  We can sell you a front and a matching rear..  So of course in mind i say fuck off you twat i just need a rear i have the front.  Main reason why i told him to piss off is cause i actually knew another motorcycle shop in genova that did have a tire for me. and for 20 euro cheaper.  So after the dick wads at bmw i went to pisa.  Now i originally had no plans on coming here cause i was suppose to be going somewhere further south but i was heading to africa next and only ferry available during these next few days was of course the one furthest away.  So pisa was just a place to occupy my time for a day.  Once I arrived I decided I needed a hair cut so got my hair did and then went into town to

leaning thing

see this damn leaning thing.  Now i paid to go to the top but it was a 3 and half hour wait so fuck that went to the 4 other museums that were including in the price and said fuck you leaning thing.  Now again I HATE ITALIAN FOOD so after my tourist moments i was hungry as hell so i went to 4 different indian restaurants all were closed at 3 so fuck it mcdonalds wins again so indulge myself at the us embassy even got me a mcflurry.  Afterwards got back to my hotel and found a local car wash so washed bernard got back to my hotel around 8 went online found a delivery system and finally got myself some indian food and called it a night.  July 18th so i realized italy has truly became a lot like another country i hate its called INDIA except the people in italy SUCK and there religion fucks little boys compared to the people in india who are so generous almost annoying and just rape a little – pretty similar to the usa on the rape thing.  Anyways they do not work from 12-2:30 i get there right at 230 still no one finally a kid arrives really cool dude they knew i was coming but they said o we have to go get it. okay bud my ferry leaves at 9 so while he does whatever he was doing i go to the

fucker is spoiled new shoes for BERNARD

laundromat a block away to do my laundry to kill time.  I come back a hour an half no one is around finally he shows up with the wheel on and guess he thought i needed a new tube okay dude sure. so before he puts my tire on some dude rolls up on a scooter and he is catering to him.  This dumb italian twat it was just his bar end that fell off and couldn’t put it back on.  So he had to do that for him.. Then another scoot rolls up and i guess something was wrong with the brakes so he takes off the brakes.   Now I thought I had to be at my ferry by 6 even though it left at 9 but its 445 and i find out its 240 mins before departure that means 5 o clock.  I tell him he drops scooter boy number two throws my wheel on i pay grab the bike and hit the road.  It was a 45 min drive but only 11 miles.  So i mob through the streets like i was in biker boys and made that drive in just under 24 mins. Get to the port wrong terminal.  so FUCK i find my way to the right one and I’m directed to my lane.  Now its like 550 I’m just chilling trying to stay out of direct sunlight for like a good hour or so and then i see all these guys come back from there cars with papers.  Now italians are like the french they will not speak english to you at all.  So finally a person from france answers me when I’m like hey do i have to go customs or something here and he is like year over there.  So i am tripping cause its almost 6 and the boat is to leave in 3 hrs so i would think last call be around 8.  I scurry over there and there is a fuck off line.  First you got to get checked in and then you got to go to passport control.  Check in probably took about a hour they had like 6-7 windows to take people.  go to passport control these dick heads have 3 people working at that time and then had one cunt just up and leave as a women looked over the two actually working.  There is easily 200 some people in line and these fuck wads only have 2 people working its like its the first day  and even if everyone was working there was only 5 windows.  This damn boat is the size of cruise ship and your telling me thousands of people are on this thing and only have 5 people to stamp …  Anyways it was about 2 and half hours in that line i got stamp grab bernard and onto the boat I went.  Think it was like right at 9 at this time so took 2 hrs later before we even took to the sea.  Now i booked this last min its a 22hr boat ride and i have no room all i have is a seat.  So i grabbed two beers right away and ate food to get sleepy enough to pass out.